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Her left hand...nothing. Her mouth...nothing. Then my wife's friend tried. Right hand, left hand, mouth....still nothing. Doctor: Wait a minute. You mean your wife's friend too?! Elderly man: Yeah, and we still couldn't get the lid off of the specimen cup.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets. There were five other men situated at the various chairs lining the catwalk, and two groups of three sitting at near by tables. As Mike's eyes adjusted to the dimmed lighting of the interior, he noticed several tables empty on an upraised portion of the floor, near the bar. Climbing the three stairs, Mike chose a table giving him a good view of the whole club. When the waitress came up in her short black skirt and low cut white blouse, she informed him that there was a two-drink minimum, but the first was covered in his cover charge if he'd held on to his receipt. Mike pulled out his receipt from the door out of his pocket, handed it to the cute brunette and ordered bottled water. When the waitress returned, she brought one bottle and told Mike that she would be back with the second as soon as he finished drinking the first. Mike smiled, paid for the water and tipped the girl a dollar. He stared at her tight butt while she bent over to talk to the guy at the table next to him..
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